Autism and the Church
Forgiveness and the Church
The Big Picture
The church is a place for the spiritually sick. For some reason, the popular perception is, the church is a mob of hypocrites and sinners who think they are perfect. That may be true for a minority, but for the majority, they know they are spiritually poor, otherwise they would not be there. A pastor once preached, the church is a hospital for the spiritually sick, it is also the only hospital that shoots it’s wounded. Unfortunately, this has been true and still is to today in too many cases.
I make this point, the Church is made up of two billion Christians. People are not perfect, they are all sinners, each and every one of them (Romans 3:23). For some reason, the general populace thinks the church should be perfect. How can something made up of two billion imperfect people be perfect? How can the church then be perfect? It isn’t. Mistakes are made. People are hurt. Sin is committed.
One concept of Church I believe is best suited to the real picture is this, a community of Christians working towards being like Christ. Notice, the concept is, ‘working.’ There is no instant perfection. Salvation is about reconciling with God and then working towards being like Christ over a life time.
The church, for the most part, does good. Without the Church, the world would be a far worse place. The aid work the church does is monumental. Look at the work of the church in Australia, such as the work of Salvos, Vinnies, the Sisters of Mercy, Blue Nurses, AOG World Aid, etc. How would the world be without the work of the Church?
Awareness and Education
Finding a church that is autism friendly is a difficult task. Not because the church is anti-autism, but because many churches do not understand autism and the pressures related to autism. There are many autism friendly churches around, but even those are difficult to fit in to.
One of the sad things about ASD families, is they tend to feel the church does not understand them and turn away. To be blunt, in most cases, of course the church doesn’t understand your ASD family. Unless you live with it or have it, like the author, no one can understand it. However, many churches will try and do their best. One of the problems with many families is they try and ‘hide’ the fact their child has autism. Then they wonder why their church doesn’t understand. How could they? You have hidden it. To most people, autism looks like misbehaviour. How can your church understand if you don’t share it with them? John 8:32 applies here, the truth will set you free. Let your pastor and congregation know the truth and you should find a more understanding attitude. Something to consider.
There are, of course, many legitimate grievances against members of the Church. The misunderstanding minister, the ignorant congregation member, etc. All too often, the reason ASD families leave the church is because of a wayward minister or hostile congregation member. While this should not happen, the reality is it does. However, the fault does not lie with the Church, but with the person who is causing the grievance. All to often people will feel grieved by one person or a couple of individuals and blame the whole church. This is unfortunate. The Church is not one or two people but two billion people. To be blunt, typecasting is usually used as a convenient excuse, but it is not a good enough excuse for unforgiveness towards the Church or turning away from God.
If you have left the Church and harbour unforgiveness towards the Church for the reasons above, you need to look at your motives and reasons for doing so. Getting to church for ASD families is hard work, no one disputes that. Rarely, are ASD families able to attend weekly. The demands of autism are too high. God understands. Please do not let people viewing this as a lack of faith or commitment to discourage you from attending church or let it become an open wound causing bitterness. The problem lies with their own misunderstanding not any lack on your part (well hopefully not). Church is about worshiping God as a community of believers and uniting together to do God’s will. If that is to care for an ASD child then so be it. Being a carer of a child or children with disabilities is a worthy ministry, do not let anyone else tell you differently. People will ask you to do more than you are able, not God. Jesus reminds us of this in Luke 11:46. Realistically, few people ‘get’ autism unless they live with it daily as an ASD person, parent or carer. Even the best intentioned person will struggle to understand it, that is the way it is. ASD families will probably always be the victims of ignorance even in a church setting, I encourage you to stay faithful, as Paul says in 2Timothy 4:7, fight the good fight, finish the race, and keep the faith.
Church
Church Order
Church order is taken seriously in church. Each church has members responsible for ensuring order. The church should be a church of order not disorder. Where does ASD fit in? One of the things ASD families need to ensure is their church understands autism is not about deliberate disorder but a disability. Deliberate and wilful disorder and disability is not the same thing even if they often look the same. This is where it is important ASD families are actively involved with educating their minister and perhaps the church leadership. Autism is not wilful disobedience, it is a disability, not a wilful act of disruption.
ASD families need to take into consideration violent behaviour. Sometimes ASD children can be violent. In this situation, ASD parents and carers must ensure any violent ASD child is removed or relocated to a position where they cannot harm congregation members. This has nothing to do with lack of understanding, but everything to do with other people’s safety. Attending church means responsibility must be taken by ASD parents and carers to ensure order is maintained just as it is the church’s responsibility to accept autism. Relationships are two way efforts.
Understanding and educated churches quickly get used to ASD traits such as flapping, twirling, etc. People get used to the irregular once it becomes regular. Give yourselves, your congregation and God time. Relationships take time to create, build and maintain.
ASD programs
Churches offer a variety of options, each church is different. Some churches have grieving/healing services. Do not be afraid to attend. Miracles occur even with children with autism. Take advantage of disability programs, they can be fun and contributing to feeling less isolated.
Concluding Thoughts
I hope this page has answered some of your questions or prompts you to seek a better understanding of autism, faith and God. If you still have questions please talk to your camp coordinator or contact Camp Autism leadership. We are always looking to help where we can.